Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
