you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
PANTIES FOUND
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
