So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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