She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
