ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
