wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yo dont text me then not text me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize