dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
