My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize