I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize