Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
