Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
