I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
