Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
