If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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