You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
