I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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