i don't plan on having that self control this summer
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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