I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
