DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize