No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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