I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize