I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
