I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
