Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
All the doctor said was why
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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