In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize