so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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