apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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