im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
