I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
