How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i was born a porn star she said
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
