hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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