I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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