why im i the only drunk person in the library?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
