My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
