Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
