Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
