Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
