Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
