She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
