K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
