Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
