i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
