i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
