Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
