I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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