He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
