HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
