I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
