sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
