4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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