Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
