First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
