so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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