i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize