She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
