Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
