I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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