I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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