I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize