i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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