This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
