took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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