At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize