You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
