he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
