I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
