bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize