i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
