who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
